How You Can Save Money with Collaborative Divorce

Posted on by BreezeMaxWeb

Ending a relationship can be a rather emotional and tough decision. After all, no one chooses to separate or divorce unless the relationship has become unbearable. Some separating couples are able simply come to terms, “shake hands”, and walk away; most cannot. If you do not have children or property, the process is much easier. However, when there are kids and assets/debts involved, generally the process gets more complicated. Then there are some cases, where the parties have high conflict and can’t agree on parenting time, division or assets/debts etc. Just because your issues are complicated or you have high conflict, does not mean you spend your life-savings in litigation.

A growing number of separating couples these days use Collaborative Divorce. In Collaborative Divorce, each party would have their own highly trained certified Collaborative lawyer to represent them. Both parties and their Collaborative lawyers sign a participation agreement giving their commitment not to go to court. The parties and their Collaboratively trained lawyers attend 4-Way meeting (2 parties and 2 lawyers) and try to resolve all outstanding issues between the parties. Most separating parties go through more than one of these meetings.

The main focus during these meetings is to have interest-based negotiations rather than positional negotiation. The parties and their Collaborative lawyers, during these meetings, can also determine whether they need any parenting counsellors for their children, divorce coaches for themselves, financial experts, etc. Any decisions are done by joint agreement of both parties. 96% of the couples choosing the Collaborative process, successfully end the process with a fully signed separation agreement in place.

Collaborative Divorce eases the emotional and financial challenges during a separation. Typically, Collaborative Divorce helps you save tens of thousands of dollars compared to litigation. If you choose the Collaborative process, your lawyer will not have to appear in multiple court appearances, prepare and review documents and evidence for court hearings and simply wait in court for your matter to be heard. Moreover, you can eliminate the emotional trauma of participating in conflicts, which is a huge part of any litigation proceeding. Divorce Coaches, in a Collaborative Divorce can help you to manage the conflict properly, which can otherwise bog you down for months or years at the expense of your relationships, employment, mental health, finances, etc.

Whether your separation or divorce costs you your life-savings depends on whether you have a Collaborative Divorce or not. If you are going through separation or divorce and need more information on Collaborative Divorce or need a Collaborative Divorce lawyer, contact Rahul Aggarwal at Clean Divorce in Vancouver for a FREE 20-minute initial consultation.

 

 

List of Initial Divorce To-Dos

Posted on by BreezeMaxWeb

Separation or Divorce is complicated. It can affect you in legally, financially and emotionally. Dividing property that a couple has acquired throughout their marriage can be one of the most contentious parts of a divorce or separation. Your divorce lawyer can help ease some of your financial and legal stresses by advocating for your interests.

Lawyers would often need a number of documents from you so they could provide you proper legal advice. It would save you time and legal fees if you are able to gather some documents mentioned below before meeting with your divorce lawyer. Being organized will not only save you money, it will also give your family lawyer a useful overview of the assets or debts likely at issue. The more information you give your lawyer, the better they can protect your needs and interests.

The following is a list of documents you should gather before meeting with divorce lawyer; however, given your circumstances your divorce lawyer may require additional documents:

Checklist of Documents to Gather for Your Divorce Lawyer

  • Income Tax Returns for the past three years. Sometimes these are also referred to as T1 General(s)
  • Notices of Assessment for the past three years
  • Business Income Tax Returns for the past three years. Sometimes these are also referred to as T2 General(s)
  • Proof of your current income (latest pay stub)
  • Proof of your spouse’s current income, if available
  • Latest bank statements for all your (and your spouse’s, if available) accounts
  • Latest statements for your (and your spouse’s, if available) mortgage account, credit cards and any other loans
  • Your (and your spouse’s, if available) pension statement(s)
  • RRSP, TFSA, or other Stock account statements
  • Property Assessment statements from the City
  • Monthly budget worksheet, if any
  • Life insurance policy(ies) statement(s)
  • Health insurance policy statement(s)
  • Personal property appraisals, if available
  • Real property appraisals, if available

 

If applicable

 

  • Prenuptial or cohabitation/marriage agreement that might have been signed during or before the relation
  • Documents regarding Family Trusts
  • List and proof of property owned by either party before cohabitation
  • List of property acquired by each spouse individually by gift or inheritance during the relationship
  • List of contents inside safety deposit boxes
  • Living Wills
  • Advance Health Care Directives

 

Every situation is different. Couples enter and leave relationships due to different circumstances and with different assets/debts. To ensure no assets or debts are overlooked, you should always have an open and frank discussion with your family lawyer regarding all of the assets and debts you and your spouse own.

Starting the Separation or Divorce Process

You may feel overwhelmed by all of the steps required if you are just beginning the divorce process. If you have children, the process can also be much more emotionally challenging. If you feel overwhelmed by your situation, rest assured, you are not alone and what you are experiencing is normal. Your family lawyer can guide you step by step on how to proceed in order to protect yourself, your child(ren) and maintain the sensitive family relationships.

 

If you or your loved one is going through separation or divorce, contact Rahul Aggarwal at Clean Divorce in Vancouver for a FREE 20-minute initial consultation.

5 Common Thoughts After Marriage Separation & Divorce

Posted on by rahul

Everyone has their own way of coping with divorce. This includes telling ourselves certain things that can inhibit our healing and prevent us from moving on.

Here are 5 common thoughts that newly separated or divorced people have, and why they shouldn’t:

1. “I hate not having my kids around all of the time. I feel guilty.”

In reality, everyone can benefit from free time, whether it be to get errands done, or just to have a break to relieve stress. You shouldn’t feel guilty about having time away from your kids – it can actually make you a better parent. Use this time to spend alone, with friends, working out, enjoying hobbies, and the like.  Most parents can only wish they had more time to themselves!

2.  “I’m never going to meet anyone else. I hate dating.”

Way too often (married or not), people stay with their partner out of fear that they will not meet anyone else.  This is one of the worst reasons to stay with someone.  There is always a chance to meet someone else that you can be happy with, but that will never happen if you stay in your bad relationship.  When it comes to dating, you have to be positive and patient. Not everyone you meet will be a great match for you, but the most important thing is that you are putting yourself out there and trying!  The more dates you go on, the sooner you will find someone you click with.

3. “My ex ruined my life.”

They did not ruin your life because you still have your whole life ahead of you – one that will be full of new experiences, people, and fun times.  This was one chapter of your life, and you still have the whole book to explore. Be grateful of all of the good times that you had with your ex and for everything you learned from the relationship.  It’s important to take responsibility for your part in the relationship and do what you need to do to become a happier person NOW.  That could include counselling, dating new people, travelling, meeting new people, and so on. Dwelling on the past will not help you heal.

4. “My kids will know how badly they treated me!”

Be the bigger person and refrain from talking poorly about your ex to your children.  Divorce is extremely hard for kids to experience and the last thing they need is to feel like they are caught in the middle or have to dislike your ex to make you happy.  In the long run, you will feel better that you took this approach.

5. “Everyone knows the divorce was not my fault.”

There are always two sides to every story, and it’s simply best not to care what other people think or to try to sway their opinion.  It will actually reflect worse on you if you are constantly putting your ex down.  Sure, it is one thing to vent to friends, but keep it to a minimum. Remember, the less negativity you put out there, the more people will want to be around you…and you need your friends for support!

Do you know of someone considering separation or divorce? Do you need to talk to a divorce lawyer? Call Rahul.  He helps clients in Vancouver, New Westminster, Burnaby, Coquitlam, Richmond, Surrey, and area.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

8 Ways to Get Through the Holidays After Separation and Divorce

Posted on by rahul

To many, the holidays are a very stressful time of year.  Add divorce into the equation and it can become a time that some people dread and want to avoid altogether.  After a separation or divorce, the holidays can serve as a constant reminder of happier times and amplify the loneliness and sadness that one may be feeling.

Here are some ways in which you may be able to relieve some of this holiday anxiety:

(1) Plan a Vacation – This may be the perfect time to get away without having painful reminders close by.  It is usually much easier to take time off from work during the holiday season. A vacation can recharge you, enable you to have new experiences, and meet new people.  It may just help you gain a better perspective of your situation once you remove yourself from your everyday surroundings.

(2) Set Goals – Make a list of things you want to accomplish over the holidays while you have more free time.  Keeping busy is a great way to keep your mind off of your troubles, and can also give you a sense of accomplishment when you complete the tasks on your to-do list.  You may have been putting some things off, and this can be the ideal time to take things off your plate and feel less stressed.

(3) Schedule “Me Time” – The importance of self-care cannot be emphasized enough. What are your favorite activities to do for relaxation?  Things like going to the spa, seeing a movie, taking up a new creative hobby, and reading a good book (all without your cell phone on) can help you relax and rejuvenate.

(4) Exercise – Even if you don’t feel like you have the energy to even think about going to the gym or taking a fitness class, it can do wonders for your mental and physical health. It is a great way to boost your confidence too!

(5) Eat Healthy & Avoid Alcohol – Eating healthy is not only great for your body, but it will enable you to get results much quicker from your time at the gym.  During the holidays, it is so easy to over-indulge, which can lead to weight gain and make you feel sluggish. And unless you can limit your drinking to a glass of wine, it’s probably best to avoid it altogether, as this can accentuate depression and create more problems.

(6) Put Things in Perspective – You are not the only person going through a separation or divorce, even though it may feel like that.  Approximately 40% of Canadian marriages end in divorce, so you are definitely not alone.  You still have so much life ahead of you and this pain is temporary. Making a list of everything you have to be grateful for will help get you in a positive mindset. Even though relationships end – remember that new ones begin!

(7) Get Support from Friends and Family – Your friends and family love you and will be understanding if you are not quite yourself during this time. They will also want to support you, but they may not know how best to do so.  Communicate with them as to what you need from them and how they may be able to help you.  You can also seek out support groups of other divorcees who are in the same boat as you and can relate to what you are going through.

(8) Create New Holiday Traditions – This is a great way to create new memories and make a fresh start.  Change is good!

Most importantly, know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  Your relationship has ended because it was not working for you anymore or serving your life in a positive way, so it can only get better from here.

It is also a great idea to seek professional help if you feel depressed and overwhelmed.  Therapy can provide you with unbiased support and skills to help you cope during the pain of separation and divorce and help you heal.

Considering divorce or already decided to proceed?  Call Rahul at Clean Divorce today! Serving clients in Vancouver, New Westminster, and area.

5 Tips for Telling Kids You Are Separating or Getting a Divorce

Posted on by rahul
Separation or Divorce is not easy.  What can make it even more difficult is when children are involved.  It is very common for parents to struggle as to how they are going to explain their separation / divorce to their kids.

Here are 5 tips for telling your kids that you are separating / getting a divorce:

(1.) Do not say anything until you are 100% sure you are separating. This may seem obvious, but when people get in the heat of the moment, it is easy to say things prematurely.  It can be very scary and stressful for kids to even hear the word “divorce”, and for those reasons, you don’t want to plant this seed of possibility in their minds.  Once that happens, they will be aware that divorce has crossed your mind and could have ongoing fear that it could be a possibility in the future. When you have decided that you are definitely separating, it is crucial to not say anything to your children until you and your partner have both agreed that you will tell the children.  Avoid putting your partner in the position where they could be caught off guard.

(2.) Maintain a unified front. Discuss in detail with your partner how you are going to communicate the separation or divorce to your kids, including why you are separating, and what they can expect from the divorce.  It will ease their anxiety if they are getting the same message from both of you.  This does not necessarily mean that you agree on everything, but try your best to stay on the same page. It would also a great idea for both parents to express that the other parent will always be their parent and love them, but that you just don’t get along as a couple.

(3.) Stay away from the blame game. This can place severe pressure on your kids to feel like they have to take sides.  Just as you wouldn’t want your partner to speak badly of you or tell your kids about your faults that may have lead up to this decision, you shouldn’t do that to them either.  It is very unhealthy for kids to feel like someone is to blame, and this can lead to a breakdown in parent-child relationships that could potentially last a lifetime.  The key is to stay neutral in your language when discussing your partner with your kids.

(4.) Ensure your children know they did not cause this. For their own well-being, kids need to be told directly that they have nothing to do with your decision to divorce.  If you avoid being clear about this, they could carry around the weight of wondering if they are to blame or if they did something wrong to cause this.  Explaining to kids that you grew apart, but that no one is to blame for this would be a good approach to take.  After all, you and your spouse know why you are divorcing.  Your children don’t need to be kept in the loop about every detail.  The less they know, the less they have to worry about.


(5.) Be clear on school and living arrangements. Questions about school and where they are going to live are guaranteed to come up. The more specific you are about this, the more you can alleviate their stress.  However, it is key to stick to what you tell them and avoid making promises that you are not sure you will be able to keep just to appease them in the short term.

By following these tips, you can help make the painful process of divorce more emotionally comforting for your children.

In Collaborative Divorce, the goal is to reduce the negative effects of your separation or divorce on your children as much as possible. Call Rahul for a FREE 20-minute consultation to discuss why Collaborative Divorce would be a smart choice for your family.

Choose Collaborative Divorce and Keep Your Divorce Records Private

Posted on by rahul

Going through a divorce is obviously a very stressful process, and what can make it even more emotionally and mentally taxing, would be to have your divorce records available to the public eye.  One of the biggest advantages of choosing Collaborative Divorce is that it keeps all of the details of your divorce private.

If your case is litigated in the court system, members of the public can find out all details of your case, including your children.  Chances are you wouldn’t want relatives or your kids reading up on every detail, especially when the divorce becomes very messy and there is a lot of conflict.  It can feel like an invasion of privacy and make relationships very uncomfortable.

Not to mention, in court, many lawyers will strategize with their clients to bring up the most sensitive things about the other parent and the relationship to sway the sympathies of the judge in terms of parenting disputes without a thought as to how this could impact their future or relationships with their children.  This could include very embarrassing things such as alcohol or drug abuse, or even physical and emotional abuse.  Again, these declarations would be signed by and filed in public court.

Your financial information is also exposed when dealing with a court-based divorce.  For most, the thought of having this on record for anyone to access can be quite unnerving.

With Collaborative Divorce, there is the help of coaches to better communicate, resolve issues, work out finances, and develop co-parenting plans. Both you and your spouse work towards making such plans and agreement by entering into good faith negotiations. It is a way to avoid the mudslinging that can happen in a court-based divorce and be more respectful of the person who you once loved enough to say “I do” to.

Choose Collaborative Divorce and move on with your life in the most positive way possible, with your private life kept private. Call Rahul for a FREE initial 20-minute consultation to ask any questions you may have and decide if the Collaborative process is the best choice for you and your partner.