Key Points in Making Collaborative Divorce a Success

Divorces are often messy and cause a lot of stress. A collaborative divorce is an easier way for both parties to put the past behind them and move on with their lives. It’s also easier on the children, if the couple has any, and will save you both time and money so that you can start a new chapter in your life.

In order for a collaborative divorce to be a success, certain elements have to be considered to make the divorce tolerable. If you’re considering a collaborative divorce, keep the following points in mind to help you with the process:

  1. Trust the team around you. Collaborative divorce makes use of a team of people, including financial advisors, accountants, child counsellors and your lawyer. Each person brings their expertise to the case, and while it may seem overwhelming at first, it’s a great way of handling all the issues in great detail so that nothing is left unresolved. Instead of having just a lawyer, you have a team of people working to make your divorce process as smooth as possible.
  2. Arrive prepared for each meeting. Do your homework and have all of the requested paperwork ready when you arrive to your meetings or sessions to make the process faster and easier. Your lawyer may request a list of assets or financial documents, for example. Take the time to prepare these in advance so that there are no delays.
  3. Remember that it’s not a competition but rather a compromise so that the best outcome can be reached for all parties involved. There is no winner and everyone benefits from this process because it’s faster and more affordable than litigation. The goal is to find solutions for all aspects connected to the divorce as opposed to having a winner and a loser.
  4. While it can be difficult, do your best to listen to your spouse and hear their point of view. In a collaborative divorce, the focus is on both parties so that fair solutions can be reached that are desirable for all. This means listening to the other side and trying to understand their feelings as well. This will help come up with solutions that both parties are fine with.
  5. Ask your lawyer as many questions as you need to. It’s important that you’re comfortable during the process, so if you need clarification regarding a topic or a better explanation of a matter being discussed, ask for a break and talk to your lawyer privately for a better understanding. Your lawyer should be able to answer all of your questions and address any concerns so that you feel comfortable.

Clean Divorce wants to help put this difficult chapter behind you. If a collaborative divorce is an option you wish to explore or require divorce mediation or a legal separation agreement, Clean Divorce can help! If you’re ready to move on, give them a call today!

Dealing with Meddling Family Members When Going Through Divorce

Divorce weighs heavy not just on the couple who are going through the separation but also the family members who are naturally concerned and affected by it too. It’s hard to envision a couple as single individuals after months or years of seeing them together. It is natural to help them sort out their differences and offer advice. But interfering family members can often worsen the situation.

The decision to divorce should start and end with the couple themselves. It is best for the family members to not take sides. But telling them not to interfere can be a sensitive matter. It’s hard to do so without hurting their feelings or creating cracks in your relationship. How do you handle that in the best interests of everyone? Here are a few tips:

Don’t talk about divorce in public

To avoid others interfering in your private matters, be mindful of what you discuss in public. If you are talking about differences and divorce, those around you may be listening in and noting all the information. The more they know, the more they will form unwanted opinions and use information against you or your spouse. Information that comes from personal opinions may not be factual, but based more on hurt emotions. This might fuel matters and you may find the two of you becoming more antagonistic towards each other which might come in the way of a collaborative divorce.

Discourage others from taking sides

Family members tend to take sides when a couple contemplates divorce. It’s natural for parents and siblings, even close friends to support one person, give them advice and reprimand the other. But discourage them to do so because the consequences are undesirable. This makes the process more difficult, cause unnecessary delay and prevent the couple from cordially coming to an agreement on a settlement. The only advice that you need to pay heed to is that of your attorney.

Never allow them to put down your spouse

Public shaming is hurtful. It spurs more resentment, anger and a vengeful temperament. It is important to respect the relationship that was once based on love. Do not let your family and friends put your spouse down in public or private. For a healthy and quick resolution, treat your spouse with respect and request your dear ones from not judging the other. Ask for support and respect for both your decisions instead. 

Never let them discuss the divorce with children

If there are children and custody involved, handle the matter even more sensitively. Divorce can adversely affect children in the long run, affecting the way they handle their future relationships. The only people who should discuss matters on the subject with them should be you and your spouse. Opinions from others could also affect their relationship between you two, fuelling resentment and animosity. Sometimes, children are easy targets for family members to extract information from. Set down guidelines firmly for family members to follow. All proceedings must be planned with their welfare in mind. Never fight with your spouse in front of the children either. It can cause severe emotional damage. To avoid conflict with everyone, keep matters private and confidential and follow the advice of a reliable divorce attorney.

Clean Divorce

Divorce can be an emotionally excruciating not just for the couple involved but for all of their near and dear ones. To avoid a messy one, call Clean Divorce for a congenial, collaborative divorce observing a no-court approach. In such a situation, both spouses have legal access to professional experts who offer financial and emotional support. Call us for a consultation.